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| Administrator | AH4 Misses Studda Bubba | | |
| Administrator | AH4 Misses Wilma | | |
| Administrator | AH4 Loves Bagless - He's our hero! | | |
| Asshole | I came, I saw, I hashed, I came.... | | |
| Asshole | If you have half a mind to hash - that's all you need! | | |
| Asshole | If a beer sounds like a good idea, then a twelve-pack should be brilliant. | | |
| Asshole | Pssstt! Your boss is standing behind you! | | |
| Asshole | The Cheddarhead is the best way to start the New Year. | | |
| Field of Doom | One martini, two martini, three martini, floor | | |
| Field of Doom | Hey, it's five o'clock somewhere . . . | | |
| Asshole | All hashers are the same. But some are different. | | |
| M.C. | "There's never been a trail that couldn't be improved by cutting it in half."-Two Trip | | |
| M.C. | Life's short, drink a beer! | | |
| Field of Doom | Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore. | | |
| crooks | Beer is God's way of telling us he loves us. | | |
| crooks | A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory. | | |
| crooks | If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. | | |
| crooks | Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. | | |
| M.C. | Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming"WOW, What a Ride!" | | |
| Fagpipes | Beer is a vegetable. | | |
| Fagpipes | Beer. Good and good for you. | | |
| Fagpipes | Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear, this little refrain will help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer. | | |
| Furry_Balls | Flour: $1...Beer: $6...Watching Mag7 strike out: PRICELESS! | | |
| Boner Rooter | Does this hash make my butt look big? | | |
| knocked-up | I'd like to have a martini. Two at the very most. Three and I'm under the table. Four and I'm under my host. | | |
| M.C. | "Beer good... water bad!" ~P'tree Pub Crawl Team Chant | | |
| Gaywatch | "We were welcomed into the promised land where there was cold beer at a reasonable price! Pizza! And no f*ckin' cell phones!!!" Bruce | | |
| knocked-up | Beer has food value but food has no beer value | | |
| knocked-up | The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober | | |
| knocked-up | Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer. | | |
| Boner Rooter | And so I drank one--it became four. And when I fell on the floor, I drank more. | | |
| knocked-up | " What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork out of my lunch?" W.C. Fields | | |
| Snail Trail | "Get busy living, or get busy dying" -Shawshank Redemption | | |
| Hash&Crash | Alcohol. The cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems -- Homer Simpson | | |
| Ho Checka | "Pays your money, takes your chances" -SoCo Motto | | |
| knocked-up | "Men are magnificent-the young men tall...the old men positively beautiful..."-MEW Sherwood | | |
| knocked-up | " All real men are gentle..."-Marlene Dietrich | | |
| knocked-up | " Whether you're a man or a woman, the fascination resides in finding out that we're alike."...Marguerite Duras | | |
| Ho Checka | "That was the best three trails I ever did in one day"-AH4 #1192 hounds after trail. | | |
| Cold Box | ''It's true there's no money in poetry, but there's no poetry in money either.'' -- author unknown. | | |
| Cold Box | ''God loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole'' | | |
| Cold Box | Little miss muffett sat on a tuffett, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, sat down beside her, and said ''What's in the bowl, bitch?'' | | |
| Cold Box | Everything's better when you're smiling & naked! | | |
| Cold Box | If you don't have anything nice to say, come stand by me. | | |
| Cold Box | ''Time is NEVER wasted when you're wasted all the time.'' | | |
| Cold Box | ''You live on the edge? I fell off some time ago." | | |
| Cold Box | ''I FEAR NO BEER" | | |
| Cold Box | "I'LL drink when I'm thirsty, I'LL drink when I"m dry, and if the beer doesn't kill me, I'LL drink 'till I die." | | |
| niplets | "Though small, it is tasty." | | |
| Cold Box | ''Everybody needs something to believe in,I believe I'll have another beer.'' | | |
| starwhore | "Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home."- James Joyce | | |
| starwhore | "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.'" - Jack Handey | | |
| Cold Box | Let me tell you about my lobotomy. | | |
| Cold Box | I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. | | |
| knocked-up | "I had a lobotomy and believe me it's no picnic...." Zell Miller | | |
| Coochie Mud Pie | Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. | | |
| Coochie Mud Pie | Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin | | |
| Gaywatch | Little known fact: The oldest written recipe known to man is a recipe for beer. www.beerinstitute.org | | |
| coldbox | I try to never let my mind wander. It's much too unstable to be unsupervised. | | |
| coldbox | I never met a tan I didn't like. | | |
| Cold Box | The two most sublime words in the English language?..... : FREE BEER | | |
| knocked-up | "Thou shalt not whine" Hash Bible | | |
| Asshole | "Sex is one of the 9 reasons for reincarnation, the other 8 are unimportant." - Henry Miller | | |
| knocked-up | " I cain't even tell you how painless my lobotomy was" S. Chambliss | | |
| knocked-up | " As war and government prove, insanity is the most contagious of diseases. "--Edward Abbey | | |
| Cheese Nips | "Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature." | | |
| pippi | Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! | | |
| pippi | When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngman | | |
| cynthia effer | "Those spread formations really open up some holes." Gary Thorne, ESPN sports analyst, commenting on a Texas-Nebraska football game | | |
| cynthia effer | "May the bridges I burn light the way." Josh Berkowitz, the laziest man in Los Angeles County | | |
| cynthia effer | "Y'all turn off your cell phones and cut your pagers to vibrate — the judge is fixin' to come in." anonymous DeKalb County bailiff | | |
| cynthia effer | "Works out kind of nice to get the old groin feeling good." Leo Mazzone, Atlanta Braves pitching coach | | |
| cynthia effer | "Not everyone can make $29 a year making fake poop. My aim is to make that much in one week." Matthew Indovina, Penn State near-graduate | | |
| cynthia effer | "It's all the same shit sandwich, Mary. You're just chewing on a different end." — Doug Payne | | |
| cynthia effer | "I'll go there if there are naked dancing midgits and bearded women. If not I'll bring the fart bombs instead. Huskers are good and Eric Crouch will win the highsman [sic] if Nebraska wins the who [sic] thing. My number is [deleted] I will be around for Thanksgiving and am looking forward to seeing you dance with a midget." Brad Sheppers, Nebraskan | | |
| Hung Jury | If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. | | |
| Hung Jury | "A good plan violently executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week." General George Patton | | |
| Cold Box | ''Here's to you, Mr. way-too -much cologne-wearer. You announce your arrival---------when you're still a block away." Bud Light's "real men of genius" | | |
| Boner Rooter | Yield to tempation; it may not pass your way again. | | |
| Boner Rooter | It is better to copulate than never. | | |
| Cold Box | "We can offer you beer ALL the time,food MOST of the time, and sex SOME of the time."-------Magic City H3 motto (Bham Al) | | |
| Cold Box | Save a soybean,eat a vegan. | | |
| Cold Box | "I don't know if you should give her any liquor..." " Liquor? I don't even know her!!" | | |
| Cold Box | "HASHING"......everything you always wanted out of r_nning, without the bothersome 7am wake-up, shitty bagels& weak coffee, standing in line to pay $20 for a hideous t-shirt, crinkly(NERDY) race number,rude volunteers, NO BEER?!?!, diluted POWERADE (BLUE!!??), spotted plunder- bananas, and coming in 11th place. | | |
| Cold Box | "Warm beer and bread, they say can raise the dead..."-----J. Buffett | | |
| Cheese Nips | "I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises." -- Neil Armstrong | | |
| Cold Box | Yes, that hash DOES make you look fat. | | |
| Cold Box | I write these quotes so I may discover what I ponder.After all, the bars aren't open this early. (Taken from a Daniel Boorskin quote) | | |
| starwhore | "Boom shanka...May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman." - Neil | | |
| Hung Jury | Men are like floor tiles. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk over them for the rest of your life. | | |
| Ho Checka | Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute ? | | |
| Ho Checka | "Murder is a crime. Describing Murder is not. Sex is not a crime. Describing sex is." — Gershon Legman. | | |
| Ho Checka | "The word today is Legs... Spread the word." | | |
| PussyPilot | Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting GERONIMO! | | |
| PussyPilot | Hanlon's Razor - Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. | | |
| PussyPilot | "I'll sleep when I'm dead" W.Zevon | | |
| PuffnStuff | "When in doubt, bimbo the shit out of that shit!" Puff'n'Stuff | | |
| Nurse Ratched | "A hasher is like a slinky, generally pretty useless but still makes you laugh when it tumbles down the stairs" | | |
| starwhore | "And while you're at it do something about your hair- it's threatening to become more interesting than you." - Buddy Cole | | |
| starwhore | "I love to dance. And as far as I'm concerned, screwing is next to godliness."- Buddy Cole | | |
| Cheese Nips | Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. | | |
| Bagless | Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or acting like one. | | |
| Bagless | "Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night." - Dave Barry | | |
| Bagless | There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. | | |
| Bagless | If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the Irish have not achieved, and never will achieve, their full potential, that word would be "whisky". That's why I drink BEER! | | |
| KittyKittyGangBang | "If you're shitting solid, you ain't trying" ~ W. Polhamus | | |
| KittyKittyGangBang | "What is this? This is ice. It's what happens to water when it gets too cold. This is Kent. It's what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated." - Real Genius | | |
| Yoron Weed | Eating and sleeping are over-rated. Pass me another beer. | | |
| Martha Screw-it | I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra | | |
| Martha Screw-it | Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm | | |
| phoenixdna | When I was younger I wanted to conquer the world, achieve great things, and help out all mankind. When I got older I realized the true meaning of life, which is "Who gives a shit?" | | |
| ImReady | You have to stand for something... or you'll be a Republican | | |
| knocked-up | Giving money and power to the Republicans is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys | | |
| knocked-up | What democratic congressmen do to their women staffers Republican congressmen do to the country | | |
| knocked-up | When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows......Dave Barry | | |
| Bagless | You can't drink all day unless you start before noon. | | |
| Bagless | WUI - Wheelchairing Under the Influence. No ticket, just faceplants. | | |
| KittyKittyGangBang | I am looking forward to an orderly election tomorrow, which will eliminate the need for a violent blood bath. ~Kodos | | |
| Asshole | You know you're young when someone asks you for money and you take it as a compliment. - David Sedaris | | |
| Wee Little Bit | Remember no matter how good looking she is, there is at least one man out there tired of her shit. | | |
| cynthia effer | "I'd like to give a shout out to all them boats and them ships. I'd like to give a shout out to the eskimos and submarines." Old Dirty Bastard | | |
| cynthia effer | "Superlogical this, superlogical that. I detect your dialect by the way you rappp! I elect myself President MC My career so intelligent, unique physique. Doin mathematics and I'm not democratic. No static, topic, I'm Asiatic." Old Dirty Bastard | | |
| cynthia effer | "Now Rick Muthafuckin James was something out of the ordinary." Old Dirty Bastard | | |
| cynthia effer | "If you don't realize that those white people are trying take all your shit...." Old Dirty Bastard | | |
| cynthia effer | "who is dirty Old Bast**** ??" Who Flung Doo | | |
| starwhore | "I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in"- graffiti in Atkin's Park Ladies' Loo | | |
| Boner Rooter | "Foreplay is for pussies."--graffiti in ladies room at Coop's Place, New Orleans | | |
| Bagless | Vegetarian - an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter" | | |
| Gaywatch | "Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." -- Eric Cartman | | |
| Gaywatch | "At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats." -- P.J. O'Rourke | | |
| Gaywatch | "Is there any problem in the world that is not Mr. Bush's fault, or have we reverted to a belief in a sort of witchcraft where we credit a mortal man with the ability to create terrifying storms and every other kind of ill wind?" Ben Stein | | |
| Gaywatch | "Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective." -- P. J. O'Rourke | | |
| Gaywatch | "A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something just as expensive as getting her nude is going to be." -- P.J. O'Rourke | | |
| Gaywatch | "Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! ..."Tolerate" means you're just putting up with it! ... It can still piss you off!" -- Mr. Garrison | | |
| Gaywatch | "Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy" -- P.J. O'Rourke | | |
| cynthia effer | "The time given to athletic contests and the injuries incurred on the [football] field are part of the price which the English-speaking race has paid for being world conquerers." Henry Cabot Lodge | | |
| cynthia effer | On the morning after the first Bush administration bombed Baghdad, someone at an Army outpost in Saudi Arabia put up a sign declaring, "The Iraqis have won the toss and elected to receive." | | |
| cynthia effer | "Sometimes the Steelers establish the run so well they say to heck with the pass, but at least the pass has been established by the run if Big Ben decides to take advantage of its establishment. Of course, the corollary must also be true: If you establish the pass, then, ergo, you have also established the run." — Prof. Marmot Sinecure at Groundhog College in Punxsutawney, Pa. | | |
| starwhore | DFL= Dead F***in' Luscious! | | |
| Boner Rooter | "I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it." --- Mae West | | |
| Boner Rooter | "There are too many men in politics and not enough elsewhere." -- Hermione Gingold | | |
| Boner Rooter | "Brevity--the soul of lingerie." -- Dorothy Parker | | |
| Asshole | No matter where you go, there you are. | | |
| Daddy' Penis | "An appeaser is someone who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last." Winston Churchill | | |
| Asshole | "Most of the girls like to dance, but only some of the boys want to." - Don Dixon | | |
| Gaywatch | "I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as Vice President of the United States?" —Sen. John McCain | | |
| KittyKittyGangBang | "I hope you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you understand that what you've heard is not what I meant." -Richard Milhouse Nixon | | |
| Coochie Mud Pie | Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry | | |
| Coochie Mud Pie | "Whiskey and Beer are a man's worst enemies... but the man that runs away from his enemies is a coward!" --Zeca Pagodinho | | |
| cynthia effer | "'Specified sexual activities' shall inlcude any of the following: Actual or simulated sexual intercourse, oral copulation, anal intercourse, oral anal copulation, bestiality, direct physical stimulation of unclothed genitals, flagellation or torture in the context of a sexual relationship, or the use of exretory functions in the context of sexual relations, and any of the following sexually oriented acts or conduct: anilingus, buggery, coprophagy, coprophelia, cunnilingus, fellatio, necrophilia, pederasty, pedophelia, piquerism, sapphism, zooerasty...." Marietta City ordinance 8-20-010 | | |
| Donny thu Retahd | "Beer so much more than just a breakfast drink" | | |
| knocked-up | In ancient Egypt if an egytptian gentleman offered a lady a sip of beer they were betrothed...from A Concise History of Beer, by prof Linda Riley, Texas Tech Univ. | | |
| knocked-up | " Does this lipstick make me look cheap?"....."No honey it looks real nice on you."......Well then let me try another." | | |
| KittyKittyGangBang | The face of a child can say so much, especially the mouth part of the face." ~Jack Handey | | |
| Cold Box | How many hashers does it take to change a light bu------WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE BEER????? | | |
| cynthia effer | "We're all worms. But I do believe that I am a glow worm." Winston Churchill | | |
| Bagless | Tequila! Have you hugged your toilet today? | | |
| Bagless | Normal people scare me | | |
| pushover | "To blow and swallow at the same moment is not easy." Plautus | | |
| pushover | "The worst government is the most moral." H.L. Mencken | | |
| pushover | "Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice." Ambrose Bierce | | |
| Donny thu Retahd | If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments. | | |
| Donny thu Retahd | "Doing love scenes is always awkward. I mean, it's just not a normal thing to go to work and lay in bed with your co-worker." - Denise Richards | | |
| Proof_Eat_Her | I'll eat anything that's not moving, and some things that are. | | |
| starwhore | "No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."- Hunter S. Thompson 1937-2005 | | |
| starwhore | "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."- Hunter S. Thompson 1937-2005 | | |
| starwhore | "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."- Hunter S. Thompson 1937-2005 | | |
| starwhore | "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."- Hunter S. Thompson 1937-2005 | | |
| Field of Doom | Do Me Too at a Coffee-Bean hot-tub party: "Oh GROSS! There's naked old people out there!" | | |
| Bagless | They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I figure that means the crazier I act, the smarter I'll become. | | |
| starwhore | “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson | | |
| cynthia effer | "Suppose you're at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot entralls [sic] your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room." Dave Barry | | |
| cynthia effer | "The chief of Ukraine's security service said Saturday that the country's former interior minister, Yuri F. Kravchenko, had shot himself twice in the head on Friday, refuting speculation that he had been killed by someone else."--New York Times, March 6 | | |
| Gaywatch | "Absolutely (I had sex with animals). I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule." -- Anti-abortion activist Neal Horsley tells people way more than they wanted to know about his teenage years | | |
| Wee Little Bit | AH4 Misses Kooler Killer | | |
| cynthia effer | "You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin." St. Patrick | | |
| PokeHerCabana | “Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Berry | | |
| cynthia effer | "Some people have a drinking problem. I have a drinking solution." Cleatus Beaux Bonaventure | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | "How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it?" - Zaphod BeebleBrox | | |
| starwhore | Sexually Explicit Star Wars Line: "The boy, myself, these two droids...and no questions asked." -OBI-WAN KENOBI EpIV | | |
| starwhore | Sexually Explicit Star Wars Line: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought." -LEIA EpIV | | |
| cynthia effer | "Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism but at least it's an ethos." Walter | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | "God made girls. Of course man has given them the big sex symbol image, but God made the initial form. Quite a design. Have to think about that next time I'm watching a girl. Not to take the fun out of it. It will just make girl watching mean more. Ya know." | | |
| Proof_Eat_Her | Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer of talk to a woman? Hell no! - Hunter S. Thompson | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | "If you don't start in the morning, you can't drink all day!" - MVH3, D.C. Area hash | | |
| jackass | " He never broke any man's head but his own, and that was against a post when he was drunk " William Shakespeare - Henry V | | |
| starwhore | "Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?"- Obi Wan Kenobi | | |
| starwhore | Sexually Explicit Star Wars Line: "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?" -WEDGE ANTILLES EpIV | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | May the hash get a piece... | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar." W. C. Fields | | |
| Proof_Eat_Her | "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
...Grouch Marx | | |
| Proof_Eat_Her | "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." Albert Einstein | | |
| Bagless | Do not run behind me, for I may not lead. Do not run ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not run beside me either. I'm shortcutting and really hope I can find the end. | | |
| Bagless | Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. | | |
| Bagless | Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. | | |
| Bagless | "To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity."- Irving Wallace (hasher at heart) | | |
| Bagless | We are born naked, wet and thirsty, and get slapped on our ass. Things we strive for again...except for the thirsty thing...we like drinking! | | |
| faghag | A Baptist minister was seated next to a hasher on a flight to San Diego. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The hasher asked for a beer, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The hasher then handed his beer back to the attendant and said, "Goddamn, I didn't know we had that choice." | | |
| starwhore | "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." - F. Scott Fitzgerald | | |
| Asshole | Asshole loves you, everyone else thinks you're a Dog. | | |
| cynthia effer | "I was a librarian. I spent 12 hours a day in the library. Yet somehow I met George." Laura Bush | | |
| Gentrifuckation | The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it. P.J.O'Rourke | | |
| Gaywatch | "Trust your gut, even if it's a beer gut." - Webb Wilder | | |
| Gaywatch | "Work hard, rock hard, sleep hard, eat hard, grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em." - The Webb Wilder Credo | | |
| starwhore | Balls | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear! | | |
| Asshole | "I think talking to ghosts may skew younger than talking to God." - Leslie Moonves, CBS TV | | |
| Asshole | So this guy walks into a bar - he broke his nose. | | |
| cynthia effer | Water polo?? I didn't know horses could swim. | | |
| starwhore | "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get"- Homer Simpson | | |
| Asshole | "I wouldn't want to be a cockfighter in East Tennessee right now" - John Goodwin, of the Humane Society of the United States, who took part in a cockfighting raid. | | |
| cynthia effer | "No one can enjoy a low tax rate if they're being murdered." Clayton County Sheriff Victor Hill | | |
| starwhore | "Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you're better off downing a bottle of whiskey. At least that way, you're unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously."- Patsy (Absolutely Fabulous) | | |
| Whore-Eagle | Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. | | |
| Whore-Eagle | She can't wrestle, but you should see her box. | | |
| Whore-Eagle | "I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing." - Unknown commentator at a power lifting meet. | | |
| pwd | "The only way to get rid of temptation is to give into it." - Oscar Wilde | | |
| pwd | "To all the kisses we've snatched; and viceversa" | | |
| Boner Rooter | Eds to Pats (AB FAB): You've quit drinking before, haven't you Pats?" "Yeah, worst eight hours of my life." | | |
| jackass | "Man I hope that comes back up." Coffee Bean on the 2005 Shoot the Hooch | | |
| Bagless | You know its a bad day when your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream | | |
| Bagless | Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! | | |
| Bagless | You know you're a hasher when mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you | | |
| Bagless | You know you're a hasher when the shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering | | |
| Bagless | 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! | | |
| Bagless | Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! | | |
| Bagless | I wasn't depressed about being in a wheelchair until my beer was finished and the cooler was at the top of the stairs! | | |
| cynthia effer | "We are proud of the progress that we've made. Our progress has been greater in Georgia than the nation as a whole." Gov. Sonny Perdue, on the news that Georgia SAT students scores were tied for last place with So. Carolina | | |
| Bagless | Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. | | |
| Bagless | What happens if you're scared half to death twice? | | |
| Bagless | Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Discover your inner lazy person... | | |
| knocked-up | " It takes a lot of water to wash away New Orleans"... Leon Everette's song "Hurricaine" | | |
| knocked-up | " When the levee breaks its gonna wash our souls away"......Gillian Welch | | |
| knocked-up | " They don't have a clue whats going on, I want President Bush and the govenor to get their asses on a plane and come see this mess." .... New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin | | |
| cynthia effer | 'No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt'.... Hunter S. Thompson's suicide note | | |
| Gentrifuckation | "Widespread intellectual and moral docility may be convenient for leaders in the short term, but it is suicidal for nations in the long term. One of the criteria for national leadership should therefore be a talent for understanding, encouraging, and making constructive use of vigorous criticism." Carl Sagan | | |
| niplets | "Everybody makes their own fun. If you don't make it yourself, it ain't fun -- it's entertainment." - David Mamet | | |
| Gaywatch | "Bruce Springsteen and his 'Rock 'n Roll' attempted to eliminate nuclear power, tried to feed the world, and to get George W. Bush defeated. He has not been particularly successful in any of these worthy endeavors. Corrupting morals of the youth of America is really the only thing that Rock 'n Roll has consistently done well." Leftist Bruce fan from NJ | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | Jesus Saves!! ...by clipping coupons and shopping wisely. | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | WWFSMD? | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | "Hangovers only happen to people foolish enough to stop drinking." - Bill Maher | | |
| knocked-up | "There is no black or white, there is no left or right, there is only up and down....and I'm just tryin to go up"......Bob Dylan | | |
| Gentrifuckation | “I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.” Wilson Mizener | | |
| cynthia effer | "We like a martini now and then — especially now." Wall Street Journal Asst Editoral Editor James Taranto | | |
| yipiia | "Can I just get Toast?" - as Red Breast stares strait at table to waitress at the Crab Shack at GA/FL 2005 | | |
| cynthia effer | "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' they said. 'Go on up, you baldhead!' He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths." 2 Kings 2:23-24 | | |
| alltongues | "Seek, and you shall be disappointed. Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face." - Jimmy Fallon | | |
| alltongues | "Don't try beating 'em or joining 'em. Either hang out by yourself, or quit." | | |
| friarfuck | It's time to stop letting the straight people make all the rules. - Queer Manifesto | | |
| friarfuck | Every time we fuck, we win. - Queer Manifesto | | |
| friarfuck | ...we know that everyone of us, every body, every cunt, every heart and ass and dick is a world of pleasure waiting to be explored. - Queer Manifesto | | |
| friarfuck | Stan: "Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?" Cartman: "What is that like finding Jesus or something?" | | |
| friarfuck | They say everyone has a book in them; And the Lord shot his creative wad with a book called the Bible. - Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church | | |
| friarfuck | Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. - Jon Stewart | | |
| friarfuck | I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. - Mr. Garrison | | |
| friarfuck | Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL, evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand? - Mr. Garrison | | |
| friarfuck | Uh Oh! Look out! It's the oppressors! Christians and republicans and Nazis, oh my! - Big Gay Al | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question. | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems. | | |
| Gentrifuckation | “Religions change, but beer and wine remain.” Harvey Allen | | |
| starwhore | "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension."- Judge Alistair McCallum, after man was jailed for offense | | |
| cynthia effer | "I don't want you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, Jerk-off." The Chief of Police of Malibu, a real reactionary. | | |
| cynthia effer | "Mr Lebowski, this is Bill Salinger of the Southern Cal bowling league. We received an, uh, an informal complaint that a member of your team — a Walter Sobchak? — drew a firearm during league play. If this is true, of course, it contravenes a number of the league's by-laws and also article 27..." Bill Salinger of the Southern Cal bowling league | | |
| cynthia effer | "My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina." Maude Lebowski | | |
| cynthia effer | "What's this bullshit? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus!" Jesus | | |
| cynthia effer | "And a good day to you, sir!" Walter Sobcheck | | |
| cynthia effer | "Donnie, please." Walter Sobcheck | | |
| friarfuck | "No society in which eccentricity is a matter of reproach can be a wholesome state." - John Stuart Mill | | |
| friarfuck | "I am super! Thanks for asking!" - Big Gay Al | | |
| starwhore | "In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life"- George Best 1946-2005 | | |
| Gaywatch | "Remember, wherever you are, there could be a hash. " WTF....H4 Motto | | |
| Asshole | "Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires -- a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so." -- George Bush, April 20, 2004 (So, for those scoring at home, this is a lie. Again....) | | |
| Boner Rooter | If you are going to tell people the truth, you had better make them laugh or they will kill you.-- Oscar Wilde | | |
| jackass | " I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake-- which I also keep handy." W. C. Fields | | |
| jackass | " Twas a woman who drove me to drink... And I never had the courtesy to thank her for it." W. C. Fields | | |
| jackass | " I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." Mark Twain | | |
| Hung Jury | You are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then it gets worse. | | |
| friarfuck | Serious headline from Waco, Texas newspaper: "Baptist Pastor Disapproves of Priest Blessing Waco's New Hooters" [Restaurant] | | |
| starwhore | "Virginity breeds mites, much like cheese..." WS | | |
| cynthia effer | "Page-by-page, section-by-section, we are doing an absolute autopsy of the newspaper." Mario Garcia, Wall Street Journal head page designer | | |
| Gentrifuckation | A computer lets you make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and Tequila. | | |
| Gaywatch | "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.' " Bob Newhart | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Mark Twain said "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | Funny thing about regret. It's better to regret things that you have done, than to regret things you haven't done. | | |
| cynthia effer | "Well, a blumpkin is receiving oral sex while you're sitting on a toilet bowl if you are a man. You're sitting on a toilet bowl and uh, while you're evacuating you receive your oral." Howard Stern | | |
| Boner Rooter | "Indecisiveness may or may not be my problem." Jimmy Buffett | | |
| Boner Rooter | "Do one thing, and do it so well that people will return and bring their friends with them." Walt Disney | | |
| cynthia effer | "Now, I can understand McKinney's frustration over the fact that she is often unrecognized. I share that frustration. More times than I can count, I've been mistaken for McKinney, criticized for things she said or given advice about my braids. In fact, while McKinney wore braids until recently, I haven't worn them since sixth grade. Still, I've never slapped or slugged anyone who confused me with her. But if this keeps up, that could change." Cynthia Tucker (AJC) | | |
| Snot Rag | Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie? -- Norm: Going down? | | |
| Snot Rag | Sam: What'd you like, Normie? -- Norm: A reason to live. Gimme another beer. | | |
| Snot Rag | Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson? -- Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer. | | |
| CripTeaser | A good friend will come bail you out of jail.....but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...."DAMN...WE FUCKED UP!" | | |
| jackass | " Leaves of three, do not squat to pee " Jackass, WH3, Ride #238 | | |
| House of Boobs | "Like the menstrual cycle, the democratic cycle is a highly regular occurance that, while reassuring, is a bit of a nuisance" John Stewart's America the Book | | |
| House of Boobs | "To think, we are just a letter away from being a demo-crazy" John Stewart's America the Book calendar | | |
| Piggus Dickus | "Lead me not into temptation, for I shall find it myself!" | | |
| Piggus Dickus | Watch out where the huskies go...don't you eat that yellow snow. | | |
| Piggus Dickus | "Human beings cannot NOT impose meaning." | | |
| cynthia effer | "Lead by Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin, a small, poorly armed militia estimated at 4,500 men were able to stop and defeat a well outfitted French army of 6,500 soldiers, which stopped the invasion of the country. Cinco de Mayo honors the bravery and victory of General Zaragoza's small, outnumbered militia at the Battle of Puebla in 1862." Charles de Gaulle | | |
| Snot Rag | "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching." --Satchel Paige | | |
| Snot Rag | "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing." --Michael Pritchard | | |
| starwhore | “I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”- Jack Kerouac | | |
| starwhore | “My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”- Jack Kerouac | | |
| starwhore | “Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”- Jack Kerouac | | |
| starwhore | “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!”- Jack Kerouac | | |
| Piggus Dickus | "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."- Aristotle | | |
| Gaywatch | "In the United States of America, unfortunately we still live in a bubble of unreality. And the Category 5 denial is an enormous obstacle to any discussion of solutions. Nobody is interested in solutions if they don't think there's a problem. Given that starting point, I believe it is appropriate to have an over-representation of factual presentations on how dangerous (global warming) is, as a predicate for opening up the audience to listen to what the solutions are, and how hopeful it is that we are going to solve this crisis." -- Al Gore - explaining why it's OK to lie and exaggerate the threat of global warming. | | |
| pippi | Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet -- billboard headed south on the connector | | |
| JamaicanMeHorny | "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" -- Homer J. Simpson | | |
| JamaicanMeHorny | "Memo to myself: do the dumb things I gotta do - touch the puppet head." -- They Might Be Giants | | |
| JamaicanMeHorny | “Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.” -- John Andrew Holmes | | |
| JamaicanMeHorny | "I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude ... at least it's an ethos." -- Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski | | |
| House of Boobs | "If you know me so well, tell me which hand I use" Tori Amos song, Icicle | | |
| starwhore | "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."- Emo Philips | | |
| drdoodoo | Rejoice and be glad ... thou shalt be drunken and shalt make thyself naked. -Lamentations 4:21 | | |
| teatsdeswamp | This President has also halted my belief in evolution. We simply could not have been around this long and be that fucking stupid. -Aaron Wall | | |
| CrackPusher | "Butt sex is a lot like spinach. If you're forced to have it as a child you won't appreciate it as an adult." - Daniel Tosh | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Hawkeye: I'd like a dry martini, Mr. Kwak, a very dry martini. A very dry, arrid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowel of a martini. I want a martini than can be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini. | | |
| pwd | "... and I swear I get more action every time I go down." - My boss at a staff meeting, one minutes before I almost got fired. | | |
| drdoodoo | "There's never been a trail that couldn't be improved by cutting it in half." -Two Trip | | |
| ChewChew | "It's not a gag reflex, it's a challenge." | | |
| knocked-up | " You are old only when you forget you are young...it's a light you keep in your eyes, a hope you keep in your heart, a girl you hold in your arms. " Cary Grant ,1952, Monkey Business. | | |
| House of Boobs | I wish my grass was EMO so it would cut itself | | |
| House of Boobs | No means eat me out first | | |
| Lube Job | "Got good and drunk the night before so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning..." | | |
| Lube Job | "If I had known it would be this esay, I would have lost my mind a long time ago." | | |
| pushover | The dictionary definition of a liberal is "open minded"; the real definition is, "a conservative who has just been arrested." | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So he could get to the voting booth and save America from the Bush Regime. | | |
| pushover | "When fascism comes to this country it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross." Sinclair Lewis | | |
| Hung Jury | Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. | | |
| Gentrifuckation | Calvin: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: "I am not sure that man needs the help" | | |
| Gentrifuckation | What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em? Calvin | | |
| Gentrifuckation | That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! Calvin | | |
| Gentrifuckation | I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing. Calvin | | |
| Gentrifuckation | If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. Phil Pastoret | | |
| jackass | "This is America damn't, we like dancing girls with big knockers" Cynthia F*cker | | |
| Hung Jury | Don't criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes. | | |
| Hung Jury | Beer is the reason why I get up in the afternoon. | | |
| Hung Jury | "There are only three sports - mountain climbing, bull fighting and motor racing - all others being games." Ernest Hemingway | | |
| Hung Jury | You say Potato, I say Tater Tots | | |
| pushover | "There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence, or spit alcohol into the bonfire, and find out for themselves." Will Rogers. slightly edited | | |
| Ass We Go | “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” -- Mark Twain | | |
| Daddy' Penis | "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin | | |
| starwhore | "The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions, who never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does."- Shane MacGowan (lead singer of The Pogues and a roaring drunk) | | |
| cynthia effer | "Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead?" Jackie Treehorn's blond goon | | |
| Gentrifuckation | "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin | | |
| cynthia effer | "Show me the money!" Tom Cruise | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Or resort to throwing the nearest glass of ice water. | | |
| cynthia effer | "Ve vant ze money, Lebowski!" Nihilist | | |
| jackass | " Can't we all just get along " Rodney King | | |
| cynthia effer | "Jackie Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town, Lebowski. You don't draw shit." The Chief of Police of Malibu, a real reactionary. | | |
| cynthia effer | "Oooover the line!!!" Walter Sobchak | | |
| Tastes Like Shyt | Why are all the pretty ones so insane? | | |
| SpeckleBird | There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who can read binary, and those who can't | | |
| SpeckleBird | Refresh this page 100 times for a secret message! |
