The History of the Cheddarhead

Every January 1st, Public Enema and a host of fellow Wisconsin rejects (Beaver, Panty Waste, Cheese Spread, etc), throw a Cheesy hash designed to get all of those New Year's Eve D.T.s out of your system. A great hash run, lots of awesome food (Cheese Curds and Brats), cheesy door prizes, and then we go bowling.

And now, direct from Public Enema, we tender the complete history of the Cheddarhead....

A Decade of Cheddarhead Hashing (Fear & Loathing from Wisconsin)

It all started in the fall of 1989. I was the Big Cheese (Grand Master) of the Atlanta Hash, and I thought we should have bowling involved in the AH4 400th Hash. I mentioned this to Coffee Bean at George’s and he gave me one of those pained Coffee Bean expressions and said, “Bowling is sooo stooopid”.

Emboldened by the vote of confidence, I conspired with Panty Waste. We were heading to LaCrosse, Wisconsin (home of the world’s largest six pack) for Christmas, so we loaded up his red Subaru wagon with cheap Wisconsin beer and cheese curds, and we headed back to Hotlanta. Of course, the major coup was getting fellow Cheddarhead Beaver to make his now famous North/South concoction of black eyed peas and rice and brats. The formula hasn’t really changed much, it’s still beer, brats, polka, and bowling.

Cheddarhead I (1990) - This one started at the Park/Ride lot on Memorial Drive and ended at Avondale/ Dunaire Park (which had softball fields in those days). It was cold and Spread Eagle received her 100th Mug. Bowling was at Suburban Lanes in Decatur (and would stay there through Cheddarhead VI). We introduced the Hash to The Doors’ “People are Strange” polka. (Click on pic for a full-size view.)

Cheddarhead II (1991) – Started at DeVry Institute and ended at Tobie Grant Park. Someone brought his portable TV and watched Georgia Tech beat Nebraska in the Citrus Bowl and claim half of the National Championship. On the trail, Condomints lost a shoe and got shiggy up to his crotch. As we were laying the trail, a woman called the cops and said we were spreading dog poison on the streets.

Cheddarhead III (1992) – Started at Rockmor Plaza in Stone Mountain and ended at Meadowdale Park. We ran through the Indian Creek Marta Station (under construction) and actually went through the train tunnel under 285. Someone called the Marta cops during the run and they stopped Suck Buddy. They told her they would arrest the next runner for trespassing. Lucky for us, she was one of the last runners through the tunnel.

Cheddarhead IV (1993) – Started at Clarkston High School and ended at Hygiene’s house. It was a hot day and we had tons of people drinking the traditional prehash beer when Dribbles reminded me of the zero tolerance Dekalb County School policy. Doh! The Hash run started earlier than usual. Hash n Crash was named at this Hash.

Cheddarhead V (1994) – Started at Suburban Plaza and ended at Emory Grove Park. An irate homeowner called the cops as we were laying the trail through WD Thomson Park. The cop asked if we were in that “rabbit” club and went on his way laughing. The Cheddarhead had grown significantly and we had 120 people that year. We were getting older and lazier and decided to always end the Cheddarhead at a house for logistical reasons. Of course, we had also ended at 4 different DeKalb County Parks were alcohol is prohibited.

Cheddarhead VI (1995) – Started at the Kensington Marta Station and ended again at Hygiene’s. This was the biggest polka dance party yet with Sauer Crotch leading the way in his dashing lederhosen. This was the final year for bowling at Suburban Lanes. Coffee Bean (see stoopid bowling above) drove to Austell with his bowling shoes on.

Cheddarhead VII (1996) – Started at Northeast Plaza and ended at Afterbirth’s house. The tour of Bowling Alley’s started at Northeast Plaza. I remember dancing with Windy Titty (who is a huge Bears fan) to the Bears Still Suck Polka. Of course, all the cheesy prizes that year had no significant fiber content and plenty of fat. We introduced Cajun spice cheese curds for the hell of it.

CheddarHead VIII (1997) – Started at Spaulding Place Shopping Center in Peachtree Corners and ended at Ralph Heflin’s (not a Hasher) house. I don’t know who found some road kill on the trail but someone did a down down with some dead furry animal on his head. This was also the first year for Cosmic Bowling at Peachtree Lanes and it was a blast. Set Cheddarhead attendance record with 138 people.

Cheddarhead IX (1998) – Started at Greens Corner Shopping Center and ended at Beaver’s house. Bowling was at Gwinnett Lanes on Jimmy Carter. Disaster struck that year when UPS hijacked the curds and the cheesy prizes. My thanks to Head Nurse and Bumper Bullets for finding some cheesy prizes in the Kmart at the start. I had no idea how much folks were addicted to their annual “curd fix”.

Cheddarhead X (1999) – Started at Ansley Mall and ended at TV Hair’s House. Bowling was at Ansley Mall lanes. Sleaze Puppy’s Fiancé was visiting from Australia, and he couldn’t finish his down-down, so he threw it all over Asshole and his new digital camera. Does this prove that Australian’s really are a bunch of pansies? Feel free to ask O & 5 the next time he's in town!

Cheddarhead XI (2000) - Started at the East Point Marta station and ended at Erection Master sister's house in East Point. We had a nice Beer and Kringle stop under a very very old oak tree which was due to be cut down to build an elementery school. However, the old oak was spared at the 11th hour when they found another location for the school. Bowling was at East Point Lanes which burned down 15 months later and has still not reopened.

Cheddarhead XII (2001) - Started at Village Lanes in Sprayberry and ended at Condomint's parents house in northeast Cobb County. This was the Cheddarhead with the real Frozen Tundra Lambeau weather. The Hash was laid with yellow corn meal because it was snowing in the morning. The Cheese sisters said it was time to have fried cheese curds at the Cheddarhead. They were a big hit even if they were a bitch to make. Redeye mangled his hand at the bowling alley by sticking it into the ball return.

Cheddarhead XIII (2002) - Started at Roswell Lanes and ended at Service My Tool and Primer's house. Primer was presented a beee-utiful CornHead and talked about having a Cornhead Hash with an Iowa theme. Keep bugging her and we might just have a great Hash complete with female corn oil wrestling!

Cheddarhead XIV (2003) - Started at Glenwood Lanes and ended at Fag Pipes house in South DeKalb. The neighborhood was extremely impressed with the happening Polka music. Jazzy Ts on Columbia now plays Polka every Tuesday night. Just tell'em Public Enema sent ya.

Cheddarhead XV (2004) - Started at Azalea Lanes in South Marietta and ended at Bagless's house. We had an all-time record crowd of over 160 fools. While some would attribute it to the spring-like weather, we know to is was the chance to win tons of cheesy prizes that stirred up the troops. Public Enema honored all the military guys at the hash for freeing the Cheese Kurds in Iraq.

Cheddarhead XVI (2005) - Started at Tucker Lanes and ended at Sanitary Knot and Bunny Banger’s house.  Another perfect day, another record crowd of 182 people.  The large crowd successful stress tested Sanitary’s sanitary system, knocking out all three toilets.  I still remember Sani, in her always subtle soft voice saying, “Enema, you NEED to get a PortaPotty for the Cheddarhead”.  As always, she was right!

Cheddarhead XVII (2006) - Started at Northeast Plaza Fun Bowl and ended at Yeast Infection’s house.  Another perfect day, another record crowd of 203 people.  Thankfully, we did get a PortaPotty for this one.  After nine years, we finally came out with a new bowling shirt, with a wonderful Cheesy graphic by Kitty Kitty Gang Bang, and personalized cheesy embroidering of your Hash Name of the left breast pocket.

Cheddarhead XVIII (2007) - Started at Suburban Plaza and ended at Surly Temple’s Moms house in Avondale Estates. The crowd was 171, including EggBeater and his buddies from Madison, WI. In addition to bringing the Wisconsin beer down south, Eggbeater was a very popular man serving up the Wisconsin favorite, Brandy Old Fashions.

Cheddarhead XIX (2008) - Help us make history! Cum to Cheddarhead XIX on January 1, 2008